WELCOME TRAVELERS OF THE HALLOW WOODS (April 21, 2025)— I would tell you the story about how I lost my hair but modesty compels me not to talk about how I save that boy from that eagle.
Speaking of modesty, by the way, that's how. See, there we were, 300 feet in the air, me, using my once long, lustrous hair as a choke-rope, attempting to apply sufficient pressure around this monster of a bird's neck, to relinquish the poor child from the iron grip of its tumultuous talons.
Which I succeeded in doing, naturally.
I tell ya, I could scarcely believe had I not seen it myself, how that eagle fell so hard so fast that, in a split second, the sheer air pressure alone atomized it into nothingness. And along with it, regrettable as it seems, was my treasured mane. But I could not in good consciousness morn such a loss while an innocent child was just minutes away from being vegemited across four states.
But before we could be flapjacked into creating a new Grand Canyon, at the very last minute, I reached down, y'know, deep, deep down inside, and I grabbed my modesty throwing it on the ground, and it being so vast and so great,
